Returning to My Home

Hamidi with women at the Bazaar
Photographs courtesy of Rangina Hamidi

When I decided to major in Studies in Women and Gender I knew that I was getting myself in trouble. Women all over the world are oppressed and repressed but there may be no place worse for a woman than Kandahar, Afghanistan—my birth town and home. Ironically, I personally have never suffered from this oppression and on the contrary my father has been my biggest supporter in what I do. However, even in America I have had to deal with the fact of being a Muslim Afghan woman. After living in America for eight years and graduating from high school as a valedictorian, my father had to burn some bridges with family members and some of his close friends by giving me permission to go to the University of Virginia. Attending U.Va. meant that I would live away from my parents’ home on my own. In 1996 this was big news—Mr. Hamidi allowing his young daughter to go and live on campus to study—what an absurd idea this was to many who talked to my father! My father respectfully reminded anyone who verbalized their disagreement that I was his daughter and he was okay with me going away to school. Little did my father’s friends know that I was going to study their reaction to my schooling and my life and make a commitment to working for the less fortunate women around the world who did not have a father like mine to stand up with them.

I consider myself a privileged Afghan woman to have a supporting family and I know that I could not have accomplished what I have without their support and encouragement. I believe that my biggest advantage is that I have a choice. In my short life and work experience, I have learned that nothing is more important in a woman’s life than the ability to make a choice on her own. This ability allows a woman to own her decisions and the ownership leads her to success. I know the taste of independence and with my work I would like to be able to allow other women and their families to taste the benefits of giving a woman a choice.

After September 11, my world was shattered just like everyone else’s. Not only was I an identifiable Muslim woman in America but I was also Afghan. About a month after that horrific date, my childhood memories of war in Afghanistan were realized again when America went to Afghanistan. I had dreams of the war after watching it on television on a daily basis. I knew that it was dangerous but I wanted to go to my homeland and after a little over a year’s efforts I landed in Kandahar to work with the women there.

When I arrived in Kandahar I was young and naïve and still lived in the ideal world that I had created for myself in college. Having no sufficient work experience, I believed that I could change the situation of Afghan women in Kandahar in my six-month contract. Within a month I knew how wrong I was! I quickly learned that Afghanistan would not give a chance to the quick-fix formulas that the international community was hoping to implement. I learned that the problems of Afghanistan and particularly that of Afghan women were so deep and multi-layered that it would take at least six months just to glance at the surface of the problem. I matured in that first six months and I decided that Afghan women needed me for more than six months even to start a conversation on how we could begin work on the issues that affect them on a daily basis. I just completed five years of service to women in Afghanistan in January 2008.

Working in the most conservative region of the patriarchal society of Afghanistan has not been an easy job. I have had to give up many of my personal liberties such as driving, walking alone on the streets (or going anywhere by myself!), making sure that I am always “properly” dressed and covered, and being cautious with my word choice when speaking with men. I must always be on a watch to make sure that I do not make a mistake, for a small mistake on my part can bring much damage to the cause we are fighting on the ground—making society realize the value and importance of women.

When I was a student at U.Va., Professor Farzaneh Milani shared with us the story of 1001 Nights. I liked the story very much but never thought that I would actually be reliving the story in Kandahar. Whenever I get frustrated or angry at the pace of how slow things move in Afghanistan, I remind myself that Sheherzad had to wait 1001 nights before she could convince the king that not all women were cheaters. Similarly, we must take the strategy of Sheherzad to remind men in Kandahar that liberation for women will not mean dishonor to their families. One thing is for sure: actualizing women’s rights in Kandahar will certainly take more than 1001 nights.

I am glad to have majored in SWAG because the studies are so real and alive in front of me on a daily basis. I am personally implementing the theory of economic independence for women. In Kandahar, the easiest and most needed thing for women has been to provide a tangible opportunity for income. The reality of the poor Afghan woman is that she is illiterate without work experience. The activities she mastered consist of domestic chores such as cooking, cleaning and raising children. To expect women to go beyond those activities in a short period of time is not only unrealistic but unproductive. Our cooperative on the ground has enabled over 450 women to work with us in their homes creating beautiful hand-embroidered products. We market their products all over the world to bring them a sustainable source of income. The idea behind this work is to enable women to own their work and not be dependent on the international community’s aid forever.

While the work today may not seem to be a very liberating working opportunity for most women, and critics may say that we are perpetuating the horrific cycle of keeping women at home to do their mundane housework and needlework, we see the work in a different light. Realistically speaking, social change is a hard task, especially in a place with high levels of illiteracy, societies whose foundation is set on tribal law, and war-torn societies. Our policy has been to work within the society to create change instead of importing change from the outside—and this change is only possible with time. Of course I am the “import” with my western education and ideas; however, I have chosen to make myself be part of the change for the women that I work with. This choice has not only been a successful one but a rewarding one as well. With time I am hopeful that our efforts will not be wasted and change will come to the lives of Afghan women.